Popcorn Is Satanic

There are certain things one learns being a janitor. The first is that the general public does not treat a public area like they do their home.  (A janitor always wants to track them down for revenge.  If we could afford Fantasy Island, that is what we'd pay for.)

 The second thing we know is to make your glass cleaner strong enough to keep people away.  If you can smell it without opening the spray bottle - and it's still overpowering, that's about right.  Do the same thing with bleach water.  You may not have any nasal cavities left, but people will leave your spray bottles alone.

Third is that the ladies' room needs another name.  Ladies do not use it.  Women do.  And yes, there is a difference.  Anyone who calls women the weaker sex has never cleaned their restroom.  That's all I'm going to say, as this is a blog for the entire family.  I have stories, but it would make this an NC-17 blog.

Fourth: If the place where a janitor works has a snack bar, he's in trouble.  Nine times out of ten, they have a popcorn machine.  Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, the people who buy popcorn drop it on the floor, leaving trails ranging from ten to fifty feet.  Or when they drop their popcorn bags and people take their shopping carts through it - - get the picture?

Number #5: A janitor's worst enemy are those (And don't you even dare tell me how cute they are!) toothbrush holders, etc. with the blue water that has the fake fish, etc.  Ever drop one of those on the floor?  Oilier than Congress and you have to throw away the mop head after you clean them up.  Interestingly, the floor stays oily for twenty-four hours.  You go through mop heads like tissue - - - and natch, your supplier sends you what he thinks you need.  So by the time you finally get more mop heads, you've grown a full beard, and someone has dropped another thing with the #$%^& fishies.

I could go on, as this is the tip of the iceberg.  As you shop this Christmas season, be nice to the janitors in the store.  They're having a rough go of it just as much as the salespeople.

And remember to not drop your popcorn.