What We Learn From Our Parents



One of my favorites of Mom and Dad.  They've
been married for 51 years  . . . . so far.

When I was a child, I was the recipient of many a lecture and spanking from my father.  For those of you who know me, it isn't going to come as a shock for me to say that I deserved each and every one of them.  As a matter of fact, I got off the hook for more than a few.
I was a smart-aleck kid.  During one lecture, Dad said, "You're not listening," and I (stupidly) replied, "Why should I?  This is the third time you've said this."  As always when he gets upset, his nose turned white, and he then said what he was saying for the fourth time.

But you know?  Although I was a wiseacre, stupid kid, I remember a lot of what my parents taught me.  I joke that I should, seeing how at forty-six I still live in the same house as them.  But seriously, they don't tell me that I am to have a belief one particular way as they believe people have the freedom to choose.  But in watching them, I see two people that I admire above all others, and you know what? Everytime I see them, I remember what they have taught me:

1)  Love and respect God.  You may not think He's there, but He is when no one will be.
2)  The importance of one's family.  Always be there for them.
3)  This isn't a perfect country we live in, but it's the best one out there, so love and respect it, along with 
those who have served it.  When the National Anthem is being played, stand up straight and pay attention.  Keep your mouth shut unless you're singing.
4)  There is no such person as one who is handicapped.  Only those who allow themselves to be handicapped.
5)  Always, always, always, always do your best.  Otherwise, why should your boss keep you on?  And if you are the boss, then you need to be setting a good example for your employees.  Earn your pay, and then some.
6)  Watch your language.  You never know who's listening.
7)  If you get knocked down, pick yourself up.  Never give in. 
8)  It doesn't hurt and doesn't cost anything to be a friend.  Try it, you'll like it.
9)  Being 'part of the crowd' can be costly.  Don't do things just because 'everyone else is doing it.'
10)  Aluminum bats are for sissies.
11)  You don't always have to be 'right' in an argument.  Sometimes, when one makes a point, they are wrong in the way they go about it.
12)  Always be respectful to women.  If not, you'll pay for it when you get home.
13)  The customer is always right.  (I learned this when working for Dad.  I was told that if I ever forgot it, I was fired.  And he had one or two customers that . . . . Well, let's just say I spent a lot of time grinding my teeth.  But they prepared me for 17 years of retail.)
14)  Respect one's elders.  They have a lot to teach you.

This is merely the tip of the iceberg, but you get the picture.  I could go on and on, but I'm not writing Doctor Zhivago.  My sister could add more, and far more eloquently.  I think my parents are literally the perfect couple, and interestingly, my sister and brother-in-law are a lot like them. 

Your know, if their kids, who are now in their twenties, follow the rules that we were given and have had passed down to them, this next generation is going to be all right after all.

              
                                                                                               

You Said It, Grandma!

As my friends and family will tell you, I am not the best at telling funny stories.  That doesn't stop me, however, and one of my favorites pertains to the actor James Mason.  He was walking along in Ireland when this woman took notince of him, never saying anything, just watching.  She started following him, and finally she tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Pardon me sir - - Would you happen to be Mr. James Mason in his later years?"


Now evidently Mason got quite a kick out of that, or else we never would have heard it.  But at the time, it would have been jarring for him.  Think about what she asked:  "Are you the old version of the man I've watched on the screen for years?" That was basically the question, but she said it in such a nice way.


Many of us, if not yet in our 'later years', are getting there.  When I point out I'm middle aged, people poo-poo that.  I point out that at forty-six, one merely has to double that, and I'd be ninety-two, which (with no offense to any ninety-two year olds who might read this) is no spring chicken.  So yeah, I'm middle aged.. 


Unfortunately, my middle has aged more than I have.  When I get up in the morning, the most ghastly sight greets me.  This pot-bellied, snorting, beady-eyed, shuffle-footed, horrific monster.  And every day I remind my family we really do need to take down the bathroom mirror.  The good news is that I have my own hair.  No, I don't have a receipt for it, as it's actually mine.  But it's winding up more in the sink and the tub.  It used to be so nice.


I bump into people I went to school, and I'll call Max Good.  He'll ask two important questions:  1)  Does he have his hair?  2)  Are they fat?  I keep pointing out to Max we're losing our hair and putting on weight so does it matter?  After the last time I reminded him of this, he didn't return my phone calls for three months.  I don't blame him.  But the real reason I call Max is when I bump into these people and they go, "Mickey!  How are you?"  I need to know who they are.  (Max doesn't know, either.)


Shortly before her passing, my grandmother - - for whom the word 'feisty' was invented - - said "Getting old sucks."  She may not have liked getting old, but she had a whale of a time getting there.  And that's what we learned from her:  Despite the creaks, aches, and pains, just enjoy what you have and as the groundhog said to the mole:  Gopher it.

The Importance of Family



Mom, Dad, Me and Sis at the Folks' 50th  (No, I don't smile for photos.)

If you look up the definition of family, this is what you're going to get:  

1.a. A fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children.

b. Two or more people who share goals and values, have long-term commitments to one another, and reside usually in the same dwelling place.

2. All the members of a household under one roof.

3. A group of persons sharing common ancestry. See Usage Note at collective noun.

4. Lineage, especially distinguished lineage.

5. A locally independent organized crime unit, as of the Cosa Nostra.

6. a. A group of like things; a class.

b. A group of individuals derived from a common stock: the family of human beings.

Now, Number Five really makes me want to laugh.  Who would think that my family would be compared to the Godfather?  (Then again, whenever we got into trouble . . . . it was like approachin Don Vito.)  But if you want to know which one defines our family, then go to 1.b. for these reasons:

My parents don't need to have conversations.  They just always know what the other's thinking.  (I do a great imitation of this.)

I really don't need to ask anyone in the family for a favor, I just ask for help, and we work out a mutual time.

The worst argument I have with my parents is over vegetables.  (If God wanted me to eat that junk, he wouldn't have given me such sharp teeth to eat meat.  And I don't want to deprive the bunny rabbits.) 

The worst argument I have with my sister is over coconut.  (She's wrong, as she hasn't tried it in over forty years, and is missing out on such a blessing.) 

I can safely say my brother-in-law's worst failing -- which he has passed along to his sons -- is that he doesn't like cats.  I pray for the four of them daily regarding this.  And Cricket has forgiven them this shortcoming.

Everyone in our family definitely knows each other's weaknesses.  (Boy, do we!)  But we don't come up to each other and say, "Hey, I hear you blew another job," or "Well, I see you did it again."  There are times we'd like to, but we don't.  While that's being human - - - which of course we are, that isn't being good family.  Instead, we'll come up to each other and if they want to bring up their misfortune, we'll let them and we'll talk about it, always ending on a positive note.  If my family has a theme song, it is definitely "Accentuate the Positive."

My family is . . . well, they're dorky.  I've gotten more subdued as I've gotten older, and whenever we have a family get-together, I sometimes ask myself if I'm really related to these people.  (I can't find my adoption papers, so I had to have been switched at birth.)  Then, when the chips are down, there they are for me, so yeah, this is indeed my family.

Thank God.

James Coburn Was Right

I was watching the special features to the Major Dundee DVD yesterday, and James Coburn was making some intesteresting statements about the films we have today.  He said that few in today's movies were actually actors.  They were mainly in it due to their physiques, saying that today's movies were 't & a' pictures.  Coburn went on to point out that a film star today will spend about three hours a day in a gym, while he had it on good authority from Charlton Heston's stunt man that Heston's exercise was 300 pushups a day.  That was it, and there were plenty who would have killed for Heston's build.

Coburn went on to state that they used to make films with action and now they make action movies.  You have to have car crashes and explosions.  Remember Bullitt?  The ulitmate car chase.  But Frank Bullit also used his brains, as he figured out the intricate plot that to this day, many of the moviegoers haven't.

If you compare many of the films of yesteryear to today's films, it's easy to see that Coburn had an extremely valid point.  Now, there are thousands, if not millions, of people who refuse to watch a classic film as "it's old."  Tell me . . do we not pay attention to a person as they're old?  Do we toss a painting or a statue as it's old?  Do we get rid of a classic piece of literature as it's old?  Of course not.  (Although when we was making the 1993 version of The Three Musketeers, actor Chris O'Donnell admitted the only verson of The Three Musketeers he had ever heard of was the candy bar.)  So why are 'old' movies chastised so? We don't like black and white?  Then why are family photos saved?  What it boils down to is that people are merely looking for an excuse still, and have yet to come up with a reasonable one.

If you are tolerant with people and give them another chance - - - good for you.  But do the same with classic movies.  Start out with His Girl Friday or My Man Godfrey.  If you want to see what a real adventure is like, try Gunga Din or The Lives of A Bengal Lancer.  Maybe The Real Glory.  For drama, try Executive Suite or From Here to Eternity.  You'll see acting then.

You may not believe me, but would Derek Flint (James Coburn to those of you who don't follow movies) lie to you?

Why This 'n That?

When I was a kid, The Yukon Review wasn't a paper that would have an article that said, Cont. on pg. 5. and not have its conclusion or have an article printed upside down. Not hardly, as Jim Watson was its editor and publisher. He took immaculate care of the paper and it was a masterpiece.

But what I remember most about the Review when he was in charge, were his editorials. There was a caricature of Mr. Watson on the front page. It had him sitting at his typewriter, tossing a piece of paper behind him. Below was his column, which was always entitled "This 'n That". After twenty-eight years, I still remember the best one he ever did. His wife had gone on a trip to Israel (I remember the time and place, as my mother was on the same trip.), and he had just put her on the plane. Now, he wasn't lonely, but he decided to pass the time, so he went outside and watched the grass grow. Then he decided to watch the paint peel on his house. He did things like this throughout his day and realized it had been an hour since her plane had left. The way he wrote it was hilarious. When we picked our families up at the airport, I let him know how much I laughed at that and he informed me it had been written three weeks before the ladies had left on the trip. Utterly brilliant.

So the title of this blog is a tribute to my first literary hero. And for those who know me, no it's not going to be merely about movies and baseball. It's going to be this and that. A little bit of everything. My late college roomie Paul Hammond would have been the perfect one to write this, as he could give an intelligent conversation on any topic, whether it be politics or the effect of gamma rays on the Zororastrian religion in Zimbabwe.

But you're stuck with me, talking about this n' that.

See you in a few days.