Make Your Words Be Sweet . . . .

When I was in college a long, long, long time ago - you know - before Al Gore had invented the Internet and a phone was something you had to walk to, not carry around - I had an interesting friend in the dorm named Frank.  He loved sleeping in, and on the way to our history class, he had me rap on his door, as that meant he had ten minutes to be there.  As a result, Frank was never late to class.  In return, if I had to miss a class, he would copy his notes for me.  I have to admit, I censored Frank's notes, as he actually wrote them faster than Dr. Peters gave them out, and put in a good deal of profanities.  Needless to say, Frank's notes were . . . well, interesting.

My favorite memory of Frank was the day Dr. Peters had a test for us.  Being the history whiz he was, Frank of course was going to ace it.  This was one of those computerized tests, with the cards that required a number two pencil.  Dr. Peters had extra pencils for anyone who had forgotten theirs.  Close to half the class went up to borrow one as Frank muttered about the irresponsibility of these people.  I pointed out they were your typical college students, and he replied, "Not in my book." 

Frank then started burrowing into his briefcase and going deeper . . . and deeper . . . and deeper.  You guessed it.  He was the last person to go up and borrow a pencil from Dr. Peters.  As he came back, not saying a word, he looked at me, as I had the giggles by now.  Sitting down, he simply muttered under his breath, "Shut up." 

Five minutes into the test, it was a killer.  I couldn't help it.  I started snickering.  Frank very loudly muttered, "Shut up!"  No one could figure out why I was laughing during the test, and Dr. Peters thought I'd lost it.  Well, this went on throughout the test, and Frank never forgave me.  From then on, every time I'd knock on his door, I'd shout, "Remember your pencil!"  I almost gave him a pack of a dozen pencils for Christmas, but I honestly thought he'd stab me with them.  As a matter of fact, he almost forgot his pencil for his next test.  (I did, and Frank had to loan me one.  He couldn't give me a hard time, as I didn't give the others a hard time.  I was merely serving as Frank's conscience.)

It's just like the line about us observing the splinter in a person's eye when we have a two by four in our own.  Poor Frank went through an awful lot due to one little pencil and a few choice comments.  I don't know if he remembers that story, but if he does, I like to think he's a history teacher, and lets his students know when they take a computerized test, "If you ever want to criticize anyone for forgetting anything, don't.  You'll be in their shoes soon enough."


Frank learned something that day, and so did I.  I got a good laugh as well.